The Leather Daddy and the Femme by Carol Queen

Author:Carol Queen
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-937609-51-4
Publisher: Down There Press

MIRANDA’S WILDEST TIME: CLUB CLITOSAURUS

“What about your wildest story?” asked Jack.

I told him about the time Ariel and I took her drag queen friends Mari and Yvette to Club Clitosaurus. It was a lesbian sex club in the SoMa warehouse of a punk dyke band. They usually rehearsed there, but every once in a while they’d clean it up, throw sheets over the vintage 1963 furniture, and have a party.

Mari and Yvette were convinced they were lesbians. Ariel told me that they would have started a transgender process long ago, except that they also liked being fags so much. So most of the time they dressed as boys – deeply cute ones, at that – and went to ACT-UP demos to vent their spleen and cruise. But when they cross-dressed they were totally lesbian-identified, and ever since Ariel had started living full time as a woman they’d been after her to sneak them into women’s clubs. She’d taken them to plenty of lesbian bars, and they actually passed a little better than she did, because Ariel was so tall. Yvette and Mari were both very small men. Mari didn’t even need to shave. Mari kept trying to get Yvette to accept the fact that Yvette was the more butch of the two, but Yvette wasn’t having any of it; he had grown his hair out especially so he could pass better.

I said that they were obviously both very femme lipstick lesbians and that Ariel and I would be the butches.

It took us at least two hours to get ready to go. The blinking neon light outside Ariel’s Tenderloin apartment always put me in the mood for queer urban slumming, and that night seemed queerer than most. Between them, Mari and Yvette had enough makeup to stock a department store cosmetics counter, and they’d each brought a suitcase of clothes along. They wanted me to dress them appropriately, since I was the only one who’d been to Clitosaurus. I loved playing Barbie with fags, but I was at a loss over one thing.

“What are you going to do about your dicks?” I asked.

Even Ariel had one, of course. She was pre-op – “or maybe non-op, I haven’t decided yet,” she’d say – and I was a little worried about being the one to bring a trio of cocks into a dyke inner sanctum like Clitosaurus. Ariel really wouldn’t be a problem, since she was on hormones and people knew she identified as a dyke, but I didn’t know how the Clitosaurus dykes would take the boys – er, the girls.

“Don’t you know about gaffes?” Ariel asked. She showed me how the special garment allowed their cocks to be tucked away out of sight, leaving nothing more telltale than a soft mound of what might be pussy. Mari and Yvette bound their cocks back, too.

That problem out of the way, it was time to play dress- up. “Okay, no drag queen makeup,” I instructed. “Be just a trifle subtle.” So they stopped

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